Red Snatch

  Contents

  Dedication

  Chapter One: Duel on the Albatross

  Chapter Two: Red Snatch, The Pirate Empress

  Chapter Three: Raiders

  Chapter Four: Grafbel

  Chapter Five: The Opium Effect

  Chapter Six: The Chase

  Chapter Seven: Marooned

  Chapter Eight: The Jungle

  Chapter Nine: The Yax Mutal Temple

  Chapter Ten: Nahua and the Yax Mutal

  Chapter Eleven: Ends and Beginnings

  Chapter Twelve: In the Name of Science and Religion

  Chapter Thirteen: Red Sails

  Chapter Fourteen: Return to Grafbel

  Chapter Fifteen: Underground Meeting

  Chapte Sixteen: Alawater Port

  Chapter Seventeen: Estate of the Envoy

  Chapter Eighteen: Catch Ritvik

  Chapter Nineteen: The Loyalty

  Chapter Twenty: The Yax Mutal Negotiation

  Final Thoughts

  Links

  For Lorraine. Out of all my siblings you're my favorite.

  Chapter One: Duel on the Albatross

  "Remember that I get to be the captain," Eldertits said as our group moved toward the docks of Istria.

  Sighing I replied, "Yes, Tits, you get to be the captain."

  This was about the tenth time our barbarian brought this up since I explained the mission to the clan over a week ago, and most of us were sick of her constant badgering. Who would have guessed that the plague from Provo wanted to be pirate captain so badly?

  "Focus," Elaria hissed just up ahead of us. "Remember, when we get to the docks, silently slip into the water, climb up the side of the Albatross, and wait for the signal before you climb over onto the deck and attack the pirates."

  "As long as it's agreed that I can be the captain, we'll do it your way," Eldertits said, causing me to roll my eyes in annoyance.

  "Roger that," Bella said loudly to our ranger.

  The dwarf was taking this, her first clan mission, extremely seriously and had a smile on her face from the moment we left the newly upgraded clan hall.

  In the week since Katarina gave me the quest for our clan to assist her in investigating the governor of the Saunora Isles and said she would be in contact, a lot of things happened. First of all, Turin upgraded our clan hall to level three, giving us a cozy little kitchen and completing my clan quest, Don't You Want a Kitchen? In addition, this unlocked a new quest called A Place to Sleep, which would get the hall up to level four.

  I deposited one thousand gold in the bank, bringing my account up to thirteen hundred, which looked nice to me. After this, I spent 340 gold on a superior fishing rod, twenty bait, twenty strong fishing lines, a couple changes of clothing, and books to learn Elvish and Goblin. Although this left me with only 150 gold on my person, every single one of these items was well worth it to me.

  I wasted no time learning the two additional languages, bringing my total knowledge of languages up to four out of four basic languages. If I wanted to learn any more, I'd need to expand my Linguistics skill passed the seven points at which it currently sat.

  Last but not least, I allocated nineteen out of twenty available stat and skill points. For my stats, I put seven points in Charisma and four points each in Constitution, Intelligence, and Wisdom. Once finished, my basic character information looked like this:

  Name: Ryland

  Level: 27 1233/2700 XP

  Class: Sorcerer

  Bloodline Origin: Phoenix

  Paragon Rank: Kindly

  Factions Affiliated With: None

  Clan: Immoral Exiles

  Basic Statistics:

  Strength: 10

  Dexterity: 12

  Constitution: 20

  Intelligence: 22

  Wisdom: 26

  Charisma: 33

  HP: 319

  MP: 464

  For my skill points, I allocated five points each to dual wielding, dual casting, and small blades. Then, because we were about to quest on the ocean, I put two each into swim and fishing. The fishing was really for my own entertainment, but I figured I'd earned a little something with all I went through to get the skill points. My skill point allocations currently looked like this:

  Acrobatics: 2

  Bluff: 2

  Climb: 2

  Disguise: 2

  Dual Casting: 6

  Dual Wielding: 5

  Fishing: 2

  Intimidate: 3

  Linguistics: 7

  Perception: 1

  Persuasion: 6

  Sense Motive: 2

  Small Blades: 6

  Spellcraft: 1

  Stealth: 4

  Swim: 2

  Overall, my progress pleased me. I certainly felt more comfortable in this world than I did as the lowly level one sorcerer that got trapped in a tree by a wolf when I first came to Alderoth. Sure, I was still an idiot, but now I was an idiot who could make epic explosions in front of him.

  "Ryland, where the fuck are you going?" Eldertits called from behind me.

  "What?" I asked, stopping and looking back at her. "Oh sorry, I got lost in thought."

  Tits stood near the small alleyway we were supposed to use to get to the docks without being noticed. In my musings, I went past this. If I continued on long enough, I would have run into the city wall without ever seeing water.

  "Imagining Lady Katarina's noble teets wrapped around your face again?" Eldertits asked smirking at me. "I saw how excited you looked when her messenger came by to tell us about the Albatross and its pirate crew."

  Jogging over to her I responded, "I was just happy to get moving on the mission."

  "Bull. Shit," Eldertits replied, starting to move after Elaria again, "You were so content reading your books, learning your languages, and buying your fishing gear it wasn't funny."

  "Hey, now I can communicate with you and Elaria in Elvish," I shot back defensively.

  "Yes, because it's not like we can't communicate privately by messaging," Eldertits said sarcastically.

  "Would you two shut up," Rondo hissed at us as we approached Elaria and him on the edge of the docks. "Just so we're clear, everyone can swim right?"

  He said this last part with an all to obvious stare at me. I mean sure, I usually am the worst one in the group when it comes to physical activities, but my two skill points in swim would get the job done.

  "Of course," I said after the group stood around in awkward silence for a minute.

  "I was just checking," Rondo muttered. "Didn't want to lose any of our members to a stupid death."

  "Which one of these ships is the Albatross?" Eldertits said looking down the harbor.

  Parked in the harbor were an assortment of sailing ships, from large frigates and galleons on the larger end and caravels sloops on the smaller side. Tits eyed the galleon next to us called The Cassius which flew the flag of Altria, a black bird over a red and white striped pattern.

  "The Albatross is the sloop third from the end down there," Elaria said, pointing to the far end of the docks at a much smaller boat. This boat only had a single mast with its sails currently furled. Sticking out from the front of the ship was a simple wooden bowsprit. No flag or pennant currently flew from the top of the mast.

  Toward the rear of the ship was a raised quarter deck with the helm, sailing controls, and anchor on it. Underneath this was a door presumably leading to the captain's cabin. A few men lazily wandered around the deck keeping watch, but otherwise there was nothing happening on the ship.

  "That's it?" Rondo asked sounding disappointed. "I'd think the governess would want to travel on something with a bit more splendor."

  "Or perhaps the governess would prefer not to stand out too much as thi
s is a secret mission," Elaria said chiding.

  "I'm just saying that that galleon could blow the Albatross out of the water without much effort," Rondo muttered defensively.

  "Actually, sloops are very quick and have great mobility," Bella said matter-of-factly. "With a good crew the Albatross could very likely outrun a galleon."

  "You seem to know a fair amount about this," I said to her.

  "I've just read a lot about pirates," Bella shrugged. "The golden age of piracy was a very interesting period."

  "Well, that should make you invaluable on this mission," I said smiling at her.

  "Are we going to get my ship or are we going to stand here talking all day?" Eldertits asked. "Into the drink with ye landlubbers."

  "Quietly," Elaria hissed as Tits moved to the edge of the docks. "If you just jump in, it will draw unwanted attention to us."

  "I've got this, mom," Eldertits replied, winking at the other dwarf before lowering herself down into the water. "Fuck, it's cold in here. I might be able to use my nips as weapons at this rate."

  Ignoring her, Elaria nudged Minty, and the little otter bolted for the edge of the dock where he slid silently into the water. A moment later, the little furball was swimming laps around Eldertits, whose teeth were chattering.

  After this, the rest of our clan members slipped into the water. Tits was right, this water was freezing, and the less time we were in it the better. Taking the lead, I began swimming around the larger ships toward the other end of the dock until I reached the back of the Albatross, its name painted above the windows on the back of the captain's cabin.

  "Alright, climb up but don't go all the way to the deck," Elaria said to the rest of us. "Ryland, Tits, and Bella--go around to the other side of the ship and remember to wait until you hear the signal before climbing up onto the deck."

  "Won't be a problem," I said swimming toward the far side of the ship.

  It took me a couple of minutes to find a good place to climb up. They make this look so easy in the movies, but in reality, the wood on the side of a ship was slippery from the constant water sloping up against it. Finally, I ended up using my daggers to make handholds for myself until I was about a foot below the ship's deck. Hopefully this wouldn't weaken the hull enough to cause us problems. At this point, I could distinctly make out voices drifting over the top from the deck.

  "I don't know why the captain insists on having us guard the ship while we're in Istria," a male voice said. "We don't even have any cargo on board right now, so even if someone snuck aboard, they wouldn't find anything worth stealing."

  "If the captain wants it, the captain gets it," another voice said in response. "We don't get paid to ask questions."

  "I'm just saying that it would be more productive for us to get sleep with the rest of the crew while were in port," the first voice said. "Instead, he's got us out here all night watching the moonlight reflect off of the waves. Then we'll sleep all day tomorrow, but the next day we'll be expected to work a regular day shift like it's nothing. This seriously messes up my sleep schedule."

  "Yes, I'm sure when the captain plans things, he takes your sleep schedule into account," the second voice said sarcastically.

  "Hey, do you see that?" the first voice asked sounding alarmed.

  "Oh, for fuck's sake, Gerald," the second voice said. "Would you man up? It's only the moonlight reflecting off of the waves."

  "No, look," Gerald said. "I think it's a rat or something."

  This was followed by the sound of boots stomping across the wooden surface of the deck.

  "That's pretty big for a rat," the second voice said. "Just pick it up and toss it overboard.

  "I'm not touching it," Gerald said. "It could be diseased, and I still think it's a rat."

  "You saw it, so you're getting rid of it," the second man replied. "Look at it, it looks like a cute little fellow. Just pick him up and toss him over the side of the ship. You know the captain doesn't like animals on his ship."

  "This is so disgusting," Gerald replied breathing out heavily. "Alright, here it goes. Easy there, little fella. Don't worry. I'm not going to hurt you. I'm just going to pick you up nice and slow here. Oh god, it's huge. Get it off of me, Tanner."

  "Gerald," Tanner yelled. "Hang on. Oh god, it's eating Gerald alive. Stop you foul monster, or I'll be forced to kill you."

  Hearing the last sentence, I pulled myself up and over the side, rolling onto the deck. Beside me and across the ship, my other party members did the same. In the middle of the deck, Minty, in his Giant of the River form, currently nuzzled a terrified man who was underneath him. Another man moved around them looking lost.

  A third sailor ran toward the commotion on deck but was quickly and savagely cut down by Rondo. The man vanished before his body could even hit the deck. So far it looked like all was going to plan.

  "Ryland, silence the ship," Tits hissed over to me.

  Quickly, I accessed my inventory for the Silence of Aros artifact, setting the location to the Albatross. The statuette made our last mission a pain in the ass, but now that we could control it, the little thing was incredibly useful.

  "It's done," I whispered over to her.

  "Then it's my time for fun," Eldertits said walking slowly toward Minty and the two panicking sailors. "Minty, you can get off of him now."

  In response to this, a bewildered Tanner spun around and saw our barbarian closing in on him. His eyes widened as he took in the rest of us.

  "Who the hell are you?" Tanner asked as Minty climbed off of Gerald and made his way over to Elaria in thunderous fashion.

  "I'm the captain of this ship," Eldertits said, hefting her axe over her shoulder and smiling at the sailor in front of her.

  "No, you're not," Tanner said stupidly.

  Eldertits grabbed him by the front of the shirt and tossed him backward over her other shoulder. A screaming Tanner sailed past the side of the ship and slashed down in the water below.

  Walking to Gerald, who had both of his hands raised and a please don't hurt me look on his face, Eldertits said, "This is my ship savvy."

  "This is your ship," Gerald said, nodding his head and gulping.

  "Good boy," Eldertits said, patting him on the top of his head. "Now, I'm going to need you to tell me how many of you are on this ship."

  "We're a crew of fifteen. Well, I suppose thirteen now, and the captain," Gerald replied.

  "God, I love it when they behave so well," Eldertits said with a small laugh. "Gerald, was it? I'm going to need you to wait here with my pet rat, Minty, and my bottom bitch, Ryland. Oh, if Minty gets hungry again, you let my rat drink your blood."

  Sighing, I walked over to Minty and stroked the giant otter on its head. He squealed appreciatively. At least someone gave me some respect around here.

  "Okay," Eldertits said, "Snizzlebizzle, get over here and help me drag the ex-captain out of his quarters."

  "It's Snazzleberry," the gnome said, following after her.

  "That's what I said, Snagglebaggle," Eldertits replied, kicking in the door to the captain's cabin. "Oh shit, it's the police, and they've come to collect."

  "What? Who?" A startled masculine voice yelled from inside.

  "Alright Snap, Crackle, and Pop, bag him," Eldertits ordered Snazzleberry.

  Sighing and shaking his head, the gnome produced a bag and entered the cabin. Less than a minute later, he reemerged leading a short man with a bag over his head. As they approached our main group, the short-hooded man stamped on Snazzleberry's foot causing the gnome to yelp in pain and jerk away.

  Following this in one swift motion, the man ripped the bag off revealing a bald head with a well-kept gray beard. On one ear, he wore a simple circular gold earring which matched the two gold teeth that gave his smile an ominous look.

  "Who the hell be ye?" the man barked. "You think you can come on my ship and kidnap me while I sleep?"

  As he said this, he summoned twin cutlasses into his hands causing our "ca
ptain" to smile at him in response.

  "Oh, now you know what a lady likes," Eldertits said to him, twirling her axe and summoning a greatsword in her other hand. "And here I thought I wasn't going to get to play tonight."

  "You think you can take Calm Grimshaw in a fight?" the man replied, twirling one of his own blades. "I like the fight of you lass, though on your head be it."

  "If you're so confident, let's make a deal," Eldertits said, smiling maniacally at him. "If I win this fight you agree to serve under me as your captain, and if you win my friends and I will let you keep your ship."

  "Why would I agree to that?" Calm Grimshaw responded. "Me and my men still outnumber you lot almost two to one."

  "Because if you don't, and you happen to defeat me," Eldertits said, pausing for dramatic effect, "my bottom bitch is going to burn this ship until there is nothing left worth salvaging. Then nobody comes out happy. Bottom bitch, if you would please."

  Grinding my teeth, I began to cast Phoenix Detonation in front of me. A ball of flaming energy appeared on the other side of the deck expanding after I charged the spell for five seconds.

  "Now, that's a good reason," Calm Grimshaw said laughing. "I knew tonight was going to be a good night when you woke me up lass. I accept your terms."

  Having heard the pirate accept Tits' offer, I cancelled my spell lest I blow us all to hell. Of course, this meant that Tits still had to win the fight, and I didn't much want to explain this to Katarina if she lost it. She was supposed to coerce the pirate into surrendering, not coax him into a duel, but the die was now cast.

  "Excellent," Eldertits said beaming at him. "I knew you were a reasonable man. The first to yield or die loses."

  With this, she threw herself forward at the man, slamming both the axe and sword down. Calm Grimshaw caught her weapons against his cutlasses, but the tremendous force our elf generated pushed him backward, and I could see the surprise written on the pirate captain's face.

  Instead of hesitating, however, he leaped forward as soon as his feet stopped and jabbed at Tits' face with one cutlass. The barbarian swatted his sword away with her axe, but this left her right side open, and he quickly sliced her in the side just under the ribs. Tits didn't even react to this but instead elbowed Calm Grimshaw in the face, pushing him away from her once again.